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| dducking fatttttttttttttttttttt ): ate like a crazy grizzly bear today. saturday was the only thing i could smile about. everything made my day horrible. and joel's sms was definitely a comforting thought. 
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| i need to be sure of what i want to do, i need to set my mind straight, start thinking of the what ifs and the what to dos. i'm starting to panic the more i think of going to the states. i guess being alone is a huge biggie issue for me. unless of course i can convince my parents i should give university of amsterdam a shot and jing can be my roomie. i really want a fun roomie! i screwed up prelims. what's new justine faith teo! gee i'm a freaking nut for studying, i'm stupid and i should major in something that doesn't require studying -.- oh my tian i can't believe i'm still slacking just 50 days from the final exams. the last stretch and i'm still crawling! SLAP ME PLEASE I NEED A BIG FAT SLAP | | |
| i feel lost. i don't know where to go, what to do, who to trust, what to believe, and most of all, i don't know who i am or who i want to become in the future. dad said he doesn't want me to be too far from him, and said australia's the limit he can take, but mum said since she'll already be spending the money, why not get into a good school in the us for a little more? i can't make up my mind. i feel like i need to get away for fresh air, new people, new surroundings, but i don't want to feel lost and alone in a whole new place. seconds, hours, so many days. you know what you want but how long can you wait? every moment lasts forever when you feel you lost your way. | | |
| mabel left last night.  i'm going to miss fighting over her with everyone else. i'm having mixed feelings about going to the states. as much as i don't want to leave, i know i need some kind of exposure, i'm not a fan of singapore's education system anyway. of course its world class, but i guess i need a change, maybe its the way lessons are taught. sigh i think i'm going to uni minnesota twin cities in u.s but my mum was thinking of mcgill in canada but (ugh canada). i'm dreading everything. sats is going to keel me. | | |
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this could be the last time
one more for the last time
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